ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
