The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
please don't ironically join a cult
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