No stitches, just platelets and will power
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
