Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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