Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
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