i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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