I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Randomize
