Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Randomize
