honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
