did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
I have fence marks all over my body
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
