She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
