I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
