Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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