She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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