why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
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