He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
