thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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