Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
