So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
