I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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