people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
