She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
