i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Randomize
