he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
just found out that she named her cat after me.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
