Duck Duck Cougar?
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Randomize
