I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Randomize
