sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
