Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
