I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Randomize
