So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
