I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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