You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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