I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
