I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
Randomize
