he shaved USA in his pubs
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
