I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
