Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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