can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
His nipple licking is glorious
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