It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
I wish you could order shots online.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
