look no pants
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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