Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
