I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Randomize
