he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
