Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
we're making bets on your personal life
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
