The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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