we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Randomize
