This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
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