Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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