I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
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