The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
I think my nap took me to another dimension
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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