my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
How's work?
Spinning.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
